Let It Go
As the end of the year – and the end of a decade – approaches, it’s time to do a little self-reflection and bid goodbye to these five things!
It’s that time again when the year draws to a close, and we find ourselves feeling pensive and in the mood to check in and take stock of our lives – are we living with purpose? What’s using up our mental energy? How have we been using our time? What have we been preoccupied with?
Well if like me, you’re feeling like you’ve been lugging around too much accumulated baggage, and it’s starting to weigh you down, now is the time to speak your truth and shed the layers that have stopped serving you. Or as Marie Kondo would say, let go of what no longer sparks joy.
LETTING GO IS A NECESSITY OF LIFE
Even Mother Nature goes through a cycle of change and renewal through the different seasons, so don’t be afraid to let go. After all, the more you carry, the less freely you can move. And the more you hold on to attachment, the less space you have in your life to focus on the things that matter, or to let in new blessings.
So trim back on what you don’t need and get ready to welcome the new year. And while you’re at it, let’s bid good riddance to these five things!
If you’re a habitual worrier, know that you’re not alone. Our mind prefers predictability, so it becomes unsettled when we feel like we have no control over what’s going to happen tomorrow, or how things are going to turn out later. But worry is a negative habit that displaces and ungrounds us – if our mind is constantly in the future, it’s difficult for us to be present.
So let that worry go, because worrying won’t stop the bad stuff from happening, it just stops you from enjoying the good!
We all do it, intentionally or otherwise. How many times have you caught that inner critic passing judgement on yourself or someone else? Here’s the thing: when we adopt that critical voice and put ourselves down, we hold thoughts and expectations of how we “should be”. As a result, we end up always feeling like we are “not good enough”. And when we apply that same judgemental attitude to others, we hold the energy of needing to correct or change them according to what we expect.
Anytime we are in a state of judgement, we are operating in a negative mindset and creating destructive energy. With awareness and commitment however, we can learn to be kinder to ourselves and to others. Be aware of the criticisms you think or say, get to the root of where they come from, and reframe them more constructively from a place of compassion.
It’s worth remembering that this is a no-win game because no matter how hard you try, you’ll never be able to please everyone. Over time, this habit results in an overload of commitments and the stress that comes with not being able to do it all.
People pleasers yearn for external validation and worry about what others will think of them if they say no. “They want everyone around them to be happy, and will do whatever is asked of them to keep it that way,” says Dr Susan Newman, a social psychologist and the author of The Book of No: 250 Ways To Say It-And Mean It and Stop People-Pleasing Forever. If you have this habit, let it go and replace it with regular affirmations of self-love and acceptance.
Guilt is a sign of empathy that shows we care about not hurting or causing harm to others. However, too much guilt can keep us stuck and unable to move on as we ruminate on the past. If left unchecked, excessive guilt can lead to depression.
So what can you do if you’re carrying guilt? If you’re feeling remorseful about a wrong that you haven’t fixed, then go on and make it right. Pick up the phone and make that call. It might feel awkward (and the other party might or might not forgive you) – but at the very least, a heartfelt apology and offer to make amends, will soothe your guilt-ridden conscience.
Everyone has fear. It’s not a bad thing, in fact, fear is one of our inbuilt human survival instincts. But when too much fear sets in, it can paralyse us and built mental walls that keep us from living our lives. When we hold ourselves back from doing something or trying something new, simply because the thought of “what if” scares us, we’re holding ourselves back from experiences.
So stop allowing fear to hold you back from growing as a person. The next time you feel fear arising, try choosing to view things with curiosity instead, and step out of your comfort zone to discover a world full of possibilities. It’s time to take whatever fear you have and let it go!
TAPPING INTO THE WISDOM OF THE SEASONS
When my energy feels heavy and burdened, I sometimes turn to guided meditations like the Symbolism of Fall, to help clear my mind of the cobwebs and let go of unnecessary attachments. You can try it here.